Will I be spanking my future children?





 

 I grew up in an old school Mexican family. My parents were also very strict Christians, because of this my siblings and I were spanked as children; however, we didn’t get spanked very much. I think I was spanked the least. I’d like to believe that this was because I was the best behaved, but it was probably because I was the only girl. Still, growing up spanking was culturally a normal thing to me. However, last week while at the DMV a mother who spanked her child changed the way I looked at the issue of spankings. Actually, it got me to think of the issue. I had never given it much thought. I don’t have children yet and I’m not married, but as I get older I find myself evaluating what morals and what stances I believe in. So when I saw this mother at the DMV pick up her child and take him to the restroom to spank him it really got me thinking.

Here is what happened. The DMV was packed and taking a long time to get to each costumer. A 3-year-old boy was standing on the chair yelling at the top of his lungs trying to get his parents attention. It was a small room so everyone’s ears were ringing. The parents were sitting next to each other, they looked annoyed but they didn’t do anything. It seems to me that they were more annoyed at the fact that the DMV was taking so long. Eventually the mom was embarrassed because people were starting to star at the screaming child. She told him to sit down and be quiet. The little boy was quiet for about 2 minutes then he was at it again. This repeated a few more times. Then finally the mother picked up the child and carried him to the restroom. I knew what that meant. It was a very small DMV so everyone outside the restroom could hear what was happing in the restroom, it was very awkward hearing the spanks and the child cry.

So what’s my stance on spanking? I think the mother handled the situation in the wrong way. I am not a mother so some may say that I don’t have the right to make that call. Honestly I might not, but I am allowed an opinion. I am studying education and worked with children since I was 14. That is my only credibility, but I am still entitled to my opinion and I believe she handled that situation poorly. First off, the whole problem might have been solved if she would have just talked or played with her son while waiting. She was literally just sitting there; I really don’t think playing patty cake or Simon says was going to kill her. Secondly, the husband did no parenting. He didn’t acknowledge that any of it was happening. I believe that strong male role models are important in a child’s life and development. It saddened me that this father showed no interest. Lastly and more importantly, I don’t like that the mother did it at the DMV. It felt like she just spanked her child out of frustration. It didn’t seem like child abuse, honestly it just felt like she was being lazy with her parenting. I don’t believe you should ever spank your child out of anger, or in public. If spanking has to occur, I believe it should be in the privacy of your own home. I know I sound like I am bashing these parents really hard but I was just analyzing the situation, while figuring out what I believe is the right thing to do.

So will I be spanking my  future children? I think so. I know I sound like I am contradicting myself, but I really think it is okay to spank your child if you do it for the right reasons and in the right way. Of course I would need to talk to the father of the child and agree on how to discipline the child because ever going through with a punishment. I think spouses should talk and figure out their disciplinary plan in a calm fashion. When people act out when they are frustrated or angry they don’t always make the best decisions, so it's best to stay calm. I believe if a child can be talked to and reasoned with you should try that approach first. If that doesn’t work than that’s when I think a spanking is okay. If they aren’t able to reason than a negative consequence or a negative action might help children realize that they shouldn’t be acting out in that way. I understand this is a controversial issue, and that I am not qualified to give professional advice on the matter. However, I thought I would throw my two cents in because I would like to look back at this when I have children and see if I still believe the same thing or if I changed my mind.